Freezing Tears
by Unbelievablemistakes01
Summary: I'm worried, Alfred isn't talking to me, he's acting like he can't even see me. Why?


**This is my first one shot! Yeah I finally finished it! **

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Hetalia **

_It was cold._

_I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't move anything, I couldn't breathe; I was floating helplessly in darkness. _

"_MATHEW!"_

_That voice…. I knew that voice._

"_Mathew no! Mathew!" It was Alfred, but why was he…._

_Suddenly light shown above me tearing through the dark veil and a shadow swam towards me… then I slipped out of consciousness._

I awoke lying on my front porch, how did I get here? Snowflakes drifted down softly, the ground was covered with flawless blankets of snow; pure and untouched.

I heard the tale tell squeak of our rusty front door and I spun around to see Alfred. Well I think it was Alfred, he did not have his usual happy glow that always radiated around him, he just looked broken, and empty. He was wearing his usual heavy winter coat (he never did like the cold) and he clutched something wrapped in a blanket to his chest.

"Alfred...Are you ok?" I asked standing up from the porch.

Instead of answering, he ignored me completely and passed right by me, like I wasn't even there.

"Hey! Don't ignore me!" I yelled to him, but he just continued walking toward the forest.

"Hoser," I mumbled as I followed him, I wondered what had gotten into him. This was defiantly odd for Alfred, and my brother could be pretty strange at times. He almost never went outside when it was snowing unless he was dragged kicking and screaming; and he sure as hell never ignored me like that, something had to be wrong.

I had to jog a little to catch up with him; soon I was walking side by side with him. "So you want to tell me what's wrong?" I asked gently, no answer once again.

Alright now I was starting to get annoyed.

"Fine be that way," I huffed as I walked beside him in silence, guess I will have to just follow him until he stops. His shoulders started to shake, he must be shivering. I don't know why though it's not even that cold, in fact, I was in my thin hoodie and I didn't feel even a little chilly. Then again that's Alfred for you, if it's not above 80 degree's it's not warm enough.

Soon a clearing in the tree's came into view Alfred head straight for it, when we passed through it there was a small pond that was covered in ice.

Well mostly, there was a large hole near the middle of the pond that had crakes spreading outwards. Someone must have tried ice fishing or something; as I looked at the pond closer the more familiar it seemed.

"Why are we here-" I halted when I saw Alfred unrolling the blanket he had been holding so tightly. He set the blanket in the snow and placed its contents on top. I walked up behind him and glanced over his shoulder, he had two pictures, my maple leaf candle, and my small Canadian flag. One of the pictures was a family picture of Alfred and I as kids laughing as our dad, Arthur, picked each of us up and into his arms. Arthur looked happy even though I knew he was extremely tired at the time, being a single father with two son wasn't easy on his especially when he got sick. It was still a perfect moment frozen in time. That was my favorite picture of our family; it usually sat on my desk back at home, along with the other things Alfred brought, so why did he bring it out here?

I opened my mouth to say something again but the words died in my mouth as I caught sight of the second picture, it was me. I was smiling holding up my hockey stick in some kind out victory motion, I actually remember when that picture was taken. It was after my first hockey championship in high school, right when I came home. Alfred thought it be funny to take a picture of the Hockey's team captain, without all the hockey gear on, reveling my thin frame fragile appearance. I remember chasing him all around the house for the camera after that, shouting that id kill him if he showed anyone on the team that picture. I chuckled slightly at the memory, man we could be stupid at time.

"Hey Mattie…." Alfred's voice came out in a rasp like it was worn out.

"Finally, you're talking again, you really shouldn't ignore me like that I-" but he cut me off.

"C-can you hear me up there? I h-hope so."

"What? Of course I can hear you I'm right here, wh-"

"I'm sorry Mattie…I'm so sorry, this is my all fault."

"What's your fault? Alfred what's going on, you're starting to scare me," Alfred's shoulders started to shake again.

"I can't believe your gone, not you. I need Mathew, I need my brother, and you are all I have left. Well, you were all I had left," I realized he was crying and that's why he was shaking so much.

"A-Alfred," I was starting to cry too, starting to panic, what was happening!?

"I wish you could still be here with me, I really do," he choked out.

"I AM right here!" I screamed as I went to grab his shoulders, to turn him around.

Only….. My hand went right through him.

I gasped and stumbled backwards, staring at me hands, "No, this isn't happening, this can't be happening," I whispered my hands starting to shake.

"I already lost dad, I-I can't lose you too! Please don't make me lose you too!" Alfred yelled he wasn't even trying to control his sobs now.

This is wrong. This is all wrong. I can't be…. be…. dead.

….Can I?

I took a few steps toward my brother, my head hurt and I started to feel dizzy, the longer I looked at him and the pond the harder it was to focus. There was flashing and dots everywhere as a memory flowed back into me, showing its self like a choppy, poorly done, film.

_It had stopped snowing_; _Alfred was standing at the door in the same oversized coat, motioning me to come. Out the door we walk and into the forest, Alfred laughs at something, I smile, and we walked until he led me to a clearing in the trees._

"No…..oh god, no…" my knees buckled to the ground, my hands gripped my hair tightly like a life-line.

_Alfred smiles excitedly pointing at the frozen pond, it was perfect, not a crack to be seen. I hesitate shaking my head, he rolls his eyes, says something which I still can't make out, and then grabs my hand pulling me towards it. I smile a little shaking my head as I follow him to the pond. We start to slide around like children giggling and gliding across the ice._

"I….No..." my voice was becoming weaker.

_Alfred spins me by my wrists and let's go, just like we use to do as kids, I slide towards the middle of the pond laughing. I step forward and stop as a crack resonating throughout the silent woods. Alfred freezes, the smile disappears from his face and it is replaced by one of terror._

"Oh no…" I buried my face in my hands.

_Another loud crack from the surface of the pond_, _I look at my brother one last time before I fell through the ice into the darkness below me._

"God, Alfred I'm so sorry," I sobbed, trembling, I stood up I walked around to where I could see my brothers face, crouching to eye level. He had lit the candle and stuck the flag into the ground, he just stared at it tears sliding down his face.

"Alfred, I love you, and I will always watch over you I promise. You're the best brother I could ever ask for, please don't blame yourself for this, it was an accident, I'm sorry that I have left you alone." I didn't care if he couldn't hear me; I still needed to say it.

Before I could go on I felt something warm on my shoulder, "My son, you've grown since I last saw you."

I spun around and came face to face with no other then my father, my _deceased _father. There was no doubt, it was him. He had the same Emerald eyes, same British accent, even the same bushy eyebrows that I always giggled at as a child.

"Dad…." I was crying again, but this time for a happier reason. He pulled me into the hug which I wholeheartedly returned, as I cried into his shoulders.

"Shhh, it's ok now, you're ok," he comforted me, pulling away so I could look at him.

"But how? You are- and you never-" he held up his hand and smiled warmly at me.

"You and I will have plenty of time to catch up later, but now I'm afraid we must go," he explained.

My eyes widened at this, "N-now? No, no, I can't leave him, not like this," I said turning to Alfred who was silently crying again.

My father looked at his other son sadly before turning to me, "I know it's hard, but we cannot stay as much as we may want to, here is not where we belong anymore. Don't not worry for your brother Mathew, Alfred is a strong boy, I know he will get through this; if anyone can it's him," he smiled fondly at Alfred one last time before turning back to me, "But now you must say goodbye."

I nodded as I walked back to my brother "Thank you," I whispered, "For always being my big brother….. And my hero," I said softly. Before I could stop myself I reached down and wiped the tears that adorned his face, unexpectedly they disappeared. Alfred eyes shot open and he stared right at me, his eyes widened.

"Mattie?..." He uttered quietly.

"C-can he…?" I looked at Arthur in surprise, but he just shook his head.

"He cannot see you but he felt your hand brush away the tears," he explained.

"But that makes no sense; he couldn't feel me before-"

"There are some things that aren't supposed to make sense," he said.

I looked back at my brother, he was still staring at me; slowly he lifted his hand up. I understood, and I put my hand against his. His eyes widened even more, if that was even possible, and he smiled sorrowfully and nodded.

"Goodbye," he whispered.

"Goodbye," I murmured before turning around and grasping the outstretched hand of my father. I glanced back once more at my smiling brother, before walking toward the light.

**A/N Bittersweet ending. Thank you for reading, and I would love any comments, suggestions, or criticism you have to offer! **

**-Kay**


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